Creeps. Unfortunately, they’re everywhere. They can stalk you at any time, be it on the street, restaurant, or the internet but it’s up to you to decide how will you react to their advances. Creeps usually aren’t very subtle about what they want which makes it easier to give them the taste of their own medicine.
Let’s be honest, many women have been faced with some form of sexual misconduct and nowadays it’s easy to wander into weirdoes on social media or public chat rooms. Ignoring the creeps is sometimes the best (and only) solution but that’s not always the best course of action.
These women have found a perfect way to give these creeps exactly what they deserved. We bring you 75 savage comebacks that put those would-be sexual predators in their place.
11. “It’s been fun f***ing with you”
We can only imagine how stupid the guy who sent this message must have felt but he brought it all on himself. It’s hillarious how he didn’t have a problem with putting his hands in the air and standing one foot but hopping on the spot was where he drew the line. Guys like him would do pretty much anything just to get laid but it’s a sure way to make epic fools of themselves.
12. You won
Sigh. Did he actually think that was a creative way to hit on her? Well, it was just crass and he got what he deserved. The size remark in the end must’ve been really crushing for him. Karma.
13. Short but effective
Who said you need something extraordinary witty to shut down guys who cross the line of decent behavior? A simple ‘no’ will do just fine, as this girl had demonstrated.
14. Masterclass comeback
In the end, she buried him which is certainly what he didn’t expect to happen. However, the real question is, do these guys think at all before they write stuff like this, or it’s the other head that does all the thinking?
15. When you hit an iceberg
Okay, this time we can see more subtlety at work here, he went as far as to use an actual metaphor and not simply say ‘wanna get into bed with me’ like most other guys on this list. It didn’t make it any better for him, though. He’s no Jack Dawson, after all.
6. Naughty mouth
Okay, he started nicely and it has got us hopeful he’d continue in the same vein but alas, that didn’t last long. He got what was coming to him in the end.
7. Do you want to cuddle? I’m a nice kitty
It seems like he couldn’t make up his mind as to what he really wants. Well, he asked for nudes and got exactly that. We guess he still has nightmares after setting his eyes on that pic.
8. It’s a trumpet… it’s a horn… it’s a… school band
This clumsy metaphor certainly didn’t do him any favors. It seems like some guys can’t even do sexting properly. He should really try with a school band. That would impress girls way more than trumpet emojis.
9. “Send pic of u in a bra ;)”
One of the most wonderful things about language is that you can interpret even the smallest word in quite different ways. So a simple preposition like ‘in’ can produce different vastly different results.
10. An Asian comeback
This is a really old and lame way to hit on someone, not to mention that it’s rude as well. Next time he meets an Asian, he should think twice before making innuendos like that.
Jason has every reason to feel down. He got owned big time. Perhaps it will teach him to keep his beast caged next time he’s trying to chat with a girl online.
2. ‘Don’t flatter yourself’
Boastfulness is a part of male-female relationships but showing it so early on can be pretty counter-productive. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that he got owned.
3. Moon landing
It all began nicely enough but he had to ruin it with one senseless comment. We guess the only way he could get laid like that is to become the 13th man who’s walked on the Moon.
4. It may be too revealing
That’s what happens when you get too greedy, cowboy. If more guys knew to behave properly when communicating with the opposite sex, they’d avoid embarassing situations such as this.
5. Who needs chairs anyway
He has a heart of a poet and manners of a street thug. That can’t be a good combination, can it? No wonder she wasn’t impressed.
16. Deception is allowed in love and war
How could he have suspected anything? After all, it seemed like a perfect pic of her bottom until she revealed what was really going on. Too bad we couldn’t see his response when he realized he had been fooled.
17. Plus size women policy
The best way to win over a lady on your first (online) date is to talk about her being ‘plus size’ – but not in this universe. If you prove to be that tactless the best thing you can hope for is to get a similar kind of response.
18. CEO in bed
Who wouldn’t want to be a CEO? It’s the best position there is.
19. It’s not a hole
Someone needs an anatomy class. Seriously guys, if you’re going to be making sexual innuendos, at least make sure you know a few basic things about female private parts. Unless you want to make a complete clown of yourself, that is.
20. “He’s been begging for weeks to do a “sexy roleplay” with me. I finally said yes. I think he regrets everything now”
Trolling him with IKEA got us laughing. It’s much more original than his roleplay scenario would have probably been. If we’re to judge his imagination based on that intro, we have to say that it isn’t very rich.
If you want to make creepy jokes you better hope your victim doesn’t have the skills to strike back. Which she did and pretty effectively at that.
22. Sea of d***s
Well, we haven’t seen this strategy before but it’s both fun and effective at the same time. After he stated eloquently that he wants sex with her and followed up with the pic of his genitals, she literally drowned him in the sea of 119 penis images until he was forced to block her. We have to admit that making perverts block you is a sign that you’re an intimidating person.
23. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The cringiest thing in this little exchange is his reaction to her mentioning her dad. Since even that wouldn’t put him off she had to say no.
24. Simple but powerful
Remember the good old days when men used to court women and send them beautiful letters expressing their love and affection? Those times are gone. Well, at least he can be certain she is an anatomically correct female.
25. Good morning sunshine
This conversation was already awkward as it is even before his last message when it took a turn for the worse. A savage comeback was only the icing on the cake.
26. Sexting with a hitman
Okay, he put a lot of effort into that one. Effort which he’d put to a lot better use talking normally to her for starters instead of unwanted sexting. Some guys need to work on their priorities.
27. Washing machine
Well Kev, if you weren’t such a douchebag to her maybe you’d walk away with your ego deflated. He definitively should work on his pick up lines to avoid getting embarassed again.
28. Pythagora’s theorem
How could have he foreseen his opening message would trigger a math lesson? If he used his brain a bit more and avoided opening messages like that, maybe he’d actually have a chance with girls.
29. Beneath the sheets
Who’d want to sleep with a monster? Or a ghost? Answer: horny idiots on snapchat.
30. “When you’re too tired to explain twice that you don’t want to sext”
He did somewhat well until she mentioned that she was in bed. Now he has to search for his own severed penis in the depths of the drain pipe.
31. Anaconda’s grip
This guy must have felt like those poor lost souls in the Amazon forest when they realized anaconda was after them. It’s not a nice feeling.
32. An (un)fortunate typo
He should’ve stuck to his first message. Buy a duck and invite her over to hang out and take care of it together. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.
33. Creepy text art
This one was kind of cute until he blew it completely. Some guys just don’t know how to play their cards right.
34. Mamma’s boy
Did he really think he’d buy her with that unfortunate remark? Mentioning your mom on a date is generally a bad idea, but he obliterated himself with that stupid message.
35. Size matters
Here we are talking about priorities again. If your balls are more important to you than your brain, you’ll not get that many dates. Unless your brain size matches hers, that is.
36. Soul devourer
T.J will think twice before making a mistake like this again. Or at least we hope he learned his lesson. Not a given, though.
37. ‘Gorgoeus’ exchange
Let’s examine this one carefuly. He made a good first step but as usual, blew it all in an epic fashion right in the next sentence. Then it went downward very quickly. He didn’t even spell ‘gorgeous’ right.
38. “This is how I handle a creepy PM”
He was at least polite while beeing creepy. She really did her best to creep out the creep and was pretty successful.
39. Grammar issues
We’re at a loss for words right now. He should try and to back to school. It wouldn’t hurt him to open a grammar book every now and then.