People Want To Drink Red Liquid Found In Sarcophagus

July 25th, 2018

We all know the internet is a strange and peculiar place, but the creep-factor just sky-rocketed with the discovery of an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus.

On July 1st of this year, Egyptian archaeologists unearthed an enormous sarcophagus in Alexandria.

Rumored to be the largest ever found in the archaic coastal city, the colossal tomb stands just over 6 feet high, 5 feet wide, and stretches to 9 feet long.

It’s what was found inside the coffin, though, that has the internet going crazy.

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Facebook/Ministry of Antiquities Source: Facebook/Ministry of Antiquities

The astonishing find, fashioned from an ominous looking black granite, weighs nearly 30 tonnes!

The massive coffin had never been opened; a rarity for Egyptian tombs.

After much speculation, archaeologists decided to uncover the tomb right where they found it, just 15 feet below the street surface.

On July 19th, the lid of the tomb was lifted to reveal 3 skeletons bathing in a tomb of red unidentified liquid, and people actually want to drink it!

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Facebook/Ministry of Antiquities Source: Facebook/Ministry of Antiquities

The murky, reddish-brown liquid was later taken in samples back to the lab for testing, where they determined the ancient bone-broth to be raw sewage.

Scientists believe the sewage came from a nearby building in poor repair and had leaked into the sarcophagus by way of a crack in the granite.

It is entirely questionable whether or not even the strongest of guts can stomach this stinky elixir, as all members of the extraction team had to clear the area right after cracking the lid due to the overpowering stench.

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Facebook/Ministry of Antiquities Source: Facebook/Ministry of Antiquities

Prior to the opening, thousands of internet users speculated that breaking the seal of the tomb would unleash the infamous Pharoah’s Curse. Even so, people couldn’t resist the urge to crack the sucker open.

The supposed curse gained popularity in 1923 after the mysterious deaths of 11 people connected to the unburying of Tutankhamun’s tomb.

Contrary to these robust fears, General Secretary of the Supreme Council of Antiquities, Dr. Mostafa Waziri told the BBC that there is no cause for concern.

“We’ve opened it and, thank God, the world has not fallen into darkness. I was the first to put my whole head inside the sarcophagus… and here I stand before you … I am fine.”

Nonetheless, this didn’t stop Surrey resident, Innes McKendrick, from launching a petition on Change.org to down the poo-juice to bring on a reign of eternal darkness.

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Change.org/innes mkc Source: Change.org/innes mkc

McKendrick addresses his petition to “King of Skeletons, Egypt”, and urges that people be allowed to imbibe the accursed liquid to appease the dark, ancient gods of Egypt. His petition reads,

“we need to drink the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus in the form of some sort of carbonated energy drink so we can assume its powers and finally die”

If the petition itself weren’t absurd enough, thousands of people have already signed the petition; just shy of 25,000 people, to be exact, since its launch only 6 days ago.

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Change.org/innes mck Source: Change.org/innes mck

Negating the fact that the red mystery liquid was found to be sewage, McKendrick posted an update to the petition requesting people to use their common sense before trying to warn him off.

Vegan Thuggin
I have to do this for my discordian rite. Thanks for the opportunity
Joey Smith
Why not, we’re screwed anyway

Callum Stewart
This water is obviously full of dark magic. We need to consume it and assume its power.

And, my personal favorite,

Max Hing
Crack is getting expensive

So, what do you think? Wanna sign the petition?