Why do I literally panic every time though?

Speed limit’s 50? Let me go 40.

Is my seatbelt on? Of course it is, I always have it on.

What if some drugs have magically appeared in my car?

The stress.

And the staff will act like you’re a criminal too.

Do you really think I want to be here? Like I waited all day to come to this public restroom which is probably out of toilet paper. No. Absolutely not.

Definitely rude, but not technically illegal. The real MVPs are the occasional wait staff that will turn a blind eye while you’re risking it. If you’re friend wants McDonalds and you want Subway, it’s fair to want to eat together.

Yes!

Or the banks charging you a fee because your card got declined. This should be illegal. All in favor of changing the law say I! You shouldn’t have to pay for being poor.

I’m actually pretty sure this is illegal at this point. Surely, right? But for some reason we can’t get rid of him.

What’s the catch? What am I missing?

And it feels illegal to be taking a free thing that you don’t even need but at the same time like, it’s free. So you gotta.

If you don’t make eye contact it doesn’t count. Someone at a kiosk once convinced me to try a new hair curling iron and curled just one strand of my hair and then wouldn’t straighten it back out. I walked around the mall with one curled strand, looking like a crazy person.

I learned my lesson that day.

You’re telling me I can just take this on public transport? I can have a to-go cup? Yes please, I’ll take two for the road.

At $7 for a bag of popcorn they’re basically begging me to bring in my own snacks. $5 for a fountain drink, are you mad?

When I realized the high school kids working at the theatre don’t care about their jobs enough to stop me… the second part of my life started.

PSA: This is only true in some states… and in Canada. So don’t go making rights on red because it could be illegal. Shareably Inc. is not responsible for any driving tickets you may incur after reading this post. Please sign here on the dotted line. Thank you.

It feels simultaneously illegal, but also like true freedom. Then for this guy it actually turned out to be illegal anyway. I wonder how he is as a driver today – still running reds? Or so cautious that it’s no fun.

Surely at least a permit. Really just any test to be passed. Basics of fire safety. But nah. You can just run around flame throwing stuff. What a time to be alive.

Even worse when your brain goes rogue, and you actually read the message against your own will. You try to stop, but not in time!

And then you sketchily shift your eyes at the person to see if they’ve seen you commit your non-crime.

It’s not our fault – we’re told from a young age! It’s instilled in us. It’s a sin.

I break this non-law all the time.

You can go ten straight years without taking a sick day, but all of a sudden when you’re on your death bed you’re too nervous to call in. But it also feels illegal to show up to your office coughing and hacking.

I once had a manager ask me for proof that I had my appendix removed. Like um… I’ll show you the fresh scar if you want?

This definitely should require some kind of qualification… but it’s just so convenient that it doesn’t.

Who wants to pay for movers? I’d rather risk my life driving the U-Haul, thank you very much.

The lady has a point!

I think it’s high time we make this illegal though. It’s 2020! I would start making citizen’s arrests all over the place.

That can barely buy you a sandwich! Some states are working on this though. States like Washington, California, and Connecticut have upped the minimum wage to more than $12. It’s not a complete fix, but it’s a step in the right direction.

The au-da-ci-ty of some people. Wait ya damn turn! We’re all tryna get where we’re going and cutting the line is just rude and I do not support it. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Like, should I smile? Avoid eye contact? Do I look guilty? Am I guilty? Should I open my bag? DO I have something under my arm by mistake?

And when the waitress asks if you want to box it up and you’re like “…..no.” And then you feel like you have to explain you’re on your way to a concert and won’t have anywhere to put the food.

Even worse when you say yes and then change your mind, leaving the box behind on the table.

Bad-assery at its finest. That’s how you knew who the cool kids were. I for one would never have been so bold, but would definitely start packing up my things when I knew the bell was about to ring.

But how did vapes become illegal in some areas before cigarettes? I need answers.

Though, some states like California are essentially smoke-free! It’s now illegal to smoke in any public spaces there – so let’s all take notes.

Definitely gross, but yes, not illegal.

Some suggestions to all wedgie pickers out there: find a more discrete spot. Pull over to a dark corner, please. Or better yet, stop at a restroom.

It’s only legal until they don’t believe you. Next thing you know you’re getting handcuffed for buying milk somewhere else before coming in for your favourite brand of bread.

Keep your receipts, people!

In my opinion, it should be illegal not to lock the door. There is honestly nothing worse than walking in on a stranger, and then having to stand outside the door and wait for them to come out. I would rather die. I don’t wish that on anyone.

Okay so, definitely not illegal. Just very unsettling for everyone around you.

Imagine someone getting into the elevator, facing the wrong way, and staring right at you? Where would you even look? What would you do?

I’ve got the heebie jeebies just thinking about it.

Not illegal, but certainly frowned upon. Sneezing, coughing, breathing on other people – a hard no from me. As a result the rest of us have to carry hand sanitizer at all times!

I will not be handing out “bless you”s to anyone who sneezes freely. Nah. I’m putting my foot down. That’ll show them.

This parent makes a good point! You just hire a random kid who has not training with babies to take care of the most precious thing in your entire world? An older kid taking care of a smaller kid?

We won’t let teenagers drive without months of practice and an official permit, but they can be put in charge of keeping a smaller human alive.

They don’t know that it was an accident, but they also don’t know what laws are. So even if it were illegal… how would they report you? I guess that’s not the point. Just shower them with love and they’ll forget about it soon enough. You, on the other hand, will never stop feeling guilty.

This one hit me right in the feels. Sometimes that uncomfortable feeling of doing something legal that feels illegal can be funny… but sometimes it’s worse. This is good to remember!

Yes! This is weird. And I’ve always wanted to know what’s going on in someone’s head when they do this.

But by the same token… it should also be illegal for people to leave me on read.

Definitely! And I’m sure it feels really dangerous too. For the first few excursions you’d catch me in the slow lane going a comfortable 90kph (60mph).

But once you got comfortable… it would probably be really fun to go that fast!

And it’s not just videos – it’s music too. I don’t need to hear the whole album you’re listening to.

There’s always some hooligans on public transport with their speakers or phones on full volume. The sound quality isn’t even good… but people do it anyway.

Then there’s the poor souls like this Reddit user, and me. I blame it on the bluetooth headphones. But I once went two full metro stations on my morning commute before I realized my headphones hadn’t connected and I was sharing my sad, whiny acoustic music with everyone around me on a packed train.

I still cringe thinking about it.

He has a point. Let it be known that I never want to know if a newbie is performing surgery on me. Keep me ignorant and happy please. And also alive. Alive would be nice.

Really, you should be flexin’. But yeah, always weird.

Then you have to buy a bunch of stuff you don’t need so you can pile it all together and hide the evidence. Don’t pretend you’ve never done it.

Even firsts feel pretty illegal. If I could achieve cartoon-level mastery of disguise, I would do it every time to avoid looking like I’m going up for seconds.

It must be funny to be one of the Costco employees watching people get uncomfortable about their free samples. Or being surprised by those who take thirds, fourths, and fifths.

No fun on company time! This, of course, depends on where you work. If you’ve got a cool boss you get to relax about spending a few minutes chatting to your funniest colleagues. But the first few weeks at a job are the most stressful while you figure out how relaxed your environment is.

Transparency with these subjects is so important! But we’ve decided as a society that it’s rude. If you’re co-worker does the exact same work that you do, you should be able to confirm that you’re getting paid the same wages. Why not, right?

“Heyyy buddy… just a reminder that you said you’d pay me back a month ago. No big deal or anything. Take your time. So sorry to ask. My bad. Just whenever you get a chance. That’d be great. ‘Preciate you!”

And pretending you’re in a big hurry so they don’t take it personally.

It’s not even just not illegal… it’s accepted as totally normal all over the world. Can we also talk about getting a professional wax? It’s seen as normal to have someone pour hot wax on your legs and rip all the hair out of your skin.

Amplified level of awkwardness when they’ve already poured the water, even though it’s free.

“Our friend is at another restaurant sorry!”

“We were looking for something that’s not on the menu!”

It’s definitely not because we’re poor….

Who doesn’t love free stuff?! I wish I was organized enough for extreme couponing. It requires skill – but I’d die for free groceries.

And yet, somehow, against all odds, they successfully become fully grown humans! It’s crazy how many people take babies home entirely unprepared – but those maternal/paternal instincts kick in. A true miracle.

Or using your brother’s students e-mail address so you can have access to the entire Adobe suite for a fraction of the regular price at 27 years old.

What, me? No, I haven’t done that… it’s just a story I heard from a friend of a friend…

This is especially true if you also work in hospitality but it’s your day off. You can’t help but at least stack dishes up to make them easier to clean, but it’s really not your job! Enjoy not doing those dishes. You’ve earned it.

This is mostly true just because you then get followed around like you’re going to steal something.

But it’s the best when you can Pretty Woman them and spend a lot of money in your casual clothing.

Is it just me or did you never grow out of that? I still feel like I’m being tested when I get ID’d at the cash register.

What if they ask my star sign!? What’s my address?

Has anyone ever actually done this?! That is bold. I’d rather be late. Y’all are crazy.

As long as the company can re-sell it and you haven’t broken it – it’s fair game! But it does always somehow feel like you’re trying to cheat the system.

It just looks so much like stealing, and you don’t want to have to explain yourself to anyone. It would be an absolute free for all if everyone was walking around the grocery store snacking on a bag of chips they’re about to buy, drinking sodas, ringing a half-eaten apple through the cash.

Society needs these unwritten rules, people.

I wonder if the creators of Uno realized how savage their game was destined to become. There needs to be a swift change to the game rule book (and global law) clearly stating no team-ups in Uno. It ain’t right.

The best part of a baby sitting gig is always the access to delicious fruit snacks. Here you go little guy, one for you, two for me. Yum yum yum.

And actually, a few people have accidentally broken the law because they’ll cross into private property while doing it! As long as you stay within the boundaries, the looking and feeling suspicious is part of the fun right?

Did literally everyone’s parents tell us the same lie? I thought I was putting lives at risk by flicking it on for even just a second. Who started this myth?

A slight head nod usually does the trick. Or a quick wave. Pretend you’re texting. And when worst comes to worst, “oh my god, I didn’t see you there!”

You really have to just like, sneak down those stairs and open the fridge without making a sound. Unseal that shredded cheese bag real slow. Stuff as many handfuls into your mouth a possible. Carefully seal it back up. Step away into the night without leaving a trace.

I think the people who do this just want to watch the world burn. It’s straight up irresponsible. We need some order!

Yes! The panic is real. What if I unknowingly acquired a gun and left it in my hand bag? What if I’m accidentally trafficking drugs?

And then you feel obligated to stand there and pretend you’re considering really buying one of the products you’ve just tried. *Very serious contemplative expression.*

Then a casual stroll away, pretending you’re going to think about it. You won’t be thinking about it.

This depends… it is two competing teams, or are they in different leagues? If you’re supporting your local team and your country in another series then you’re probably in the clear. Otherwise you must love trouble.

Yes! And it’s the only one available when you go to use it. But then you spend the whole time panicking and wondering if there is someone who actually needs the disabled bathroom waiting outside the door. Trying to figure out how you’ll explain yourself.

It’s true robbery. And if you think you will get all the cable channels you want by paying for the most expensive package every month until you die… you’re wrong.

I always have to double check… am I? Oh that’s right, I’m 27.