Life
Women was single for 8 years until she met her husband, shares advice for dating over 50
She proves that finding love again is possible and worth it.
Laura Shallcross
04.06.21

Remember dating as a teenager? You might have kissed a frog or two in that time, but, for the most part, things just slotted into place. You found your “perfect man” and prepared to spend the rest of your life with him.

Except your “perfect man” turned out not so perfect. Or maybe you just – shocker – got bored of one another.

“Till death do us part” is a phrase that emerged in 1549 – and let’s consider the significance of that.

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In the 1940s, the average life expectancy was just over 60 years old. But that’s the average life expectancy – many people would die in their 40s or even 30s because medical technology just wasn’t what it’s like today.

That means that “Till death do us part” technically meant 40 years, max – but perhaps much less than that.

It’s easy to see, then, why couples in their 40s or 50s may choose to break up.

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Whatever your reason for finding yourself back in the dating sphere, you should definitely embrace your newfound freedom and be sure to have some fun.

Yep, things might seem a little scary, and you might have to brush up on your flirting skills if you haven’t used them for several decades, but you’re far more mature than your teenage years – and that certainly helps.

Here are 6 rules to follow closely if you’re dating over 50:

1. Don’t Bond Over Your Baggage

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It can be tempting to share the hurts of your past with the person you’re dating. You’re probably both divorced, and it’s likely that you’ve both been hurt.

We’ve all got a story – but keep in mind that oversharing from your past may prevent you from having something special with a new guy going forward.

2. Don’t Call Him

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In case you didn’t realize, men over 50 know exactly what they’re doing in the dating game – and they know exactly who they want, too. So for goodness sake, if a man doesn’t call you when he says he’s going to, don’t call him!

Don’t start the relationship off by chasing a man. If he’s not interested, brush your hurt aside and move on. He’s not worth your time.

3. Don’t Have Sex

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This might be rule number 3, but it’s definitely the big one on this list: don’t have sex unless you’re ready to have sex. And, for good measure, don’t have sex until you’ve established what your relationship even means with your new partner.

Of course, this rule only applies if you’re looking for a serious relationship. If you’re both on board for a bit of “no strings attached” fun, then by all means get steamy in the bedroom whenever you feel like it.

4. Stop Being So Picky

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The problem with today’s online dating world is that we have so much choice that we feel we can afford to be as picky as we want. A word of advice, however: don’t shop for men like you’d shop for a home.

Your “dream man” doesn’t exist – sorry! All men have flaws, just like all women do. If you’re turned off because you don’t like the color of his tie or you found a sock on the floor in his apartment, you’ll find it nearly impossible to meet your perfect match.

5. Flirt Like A Woman

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There are so many ways that you can flirt with a man on a date, both verbally and non-verbally. Flirting turns a man on like nothing else – plus, it shows you’re really confident, which is super sexy.

If you’ve not flirted in a while, you may feel a little shy at the thought. But it’s something that you’ll get used to over time. If all else fails, a glass of wine should ease you up a bit.

6. Let The Conversation Flow

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… but make sure you get a word in edgeways! Don’t allow a guy to ramble on and on. It’s so frustrating for you, and he’ll leave the date feeling like he knows nothing about you (and will probably wonder why!).

Don’t let a man run away with the show. Sometimes they don’t even realize they’re dominating the conversation, so don’t be afraid to lean forward, put a hand on his arm and ask him politely if you can share your own story or two.

Remember, dating over 50 certainly isn’t easy, but being honest, authentic, and best of all, having fun, should see you well as you embark on this new, exciting stage of your life.

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And remember – don’t take yourself too seriously! At best, you’ll find a wonderful new man to light up your life; at worst, you’ll have a funny story to share with friends and family. There really is nothing to lose.

You can find more insightful tips and information about dating in your 50s in the video below.

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