Dating can be tricky. You have your idea of what the perfect partner is like, and then you have the rest of the world setting these impossible standards. Add to that the inevitability of disappointments the minute you jump in the dating pool. If things work out, it’s beautiful. If they don’t, it’s distressing and traumatizing, leaving you steering clear of the dating scene once more.
So to break out of that cycle, people end up bravely stepping outside of their comfort zones.
Men, for instance, have this notion that dating older women is the way to go. But with that new undertaking comes questions and expectations. Know that by older, we don’t necessarily mean someone in her 60s. We’re talking a seven-year age gap at the most.
It can be intimidating, yes, but mostly, it can be wonderful.
To help manage your expectations, here are a few things you can expect when dating an older woman.
She’s got more experience.
It’s no big deal if you don’t always see eye to eye on certain things. That’s simply because you haven’t navigated life’s stages at the same time. Because she’s gone through more, expect that she has strong opinions and conclusions about certain matters – this doesn’t mean she’ll convince you to have the same mindset. In fact, it’s these experiences of hers that will actually help you grow as a person, too. Learn from each other, be cool about differences, and things will be okay.
Communication is important to her.
Since we’re on the subject of differences, know that the best way to work through them is by communicating. Be honest about how you feel and avoid making assumptions, even if it’s about the most trivial matters. Heated arguments can be avoided if both parties are always open to communication. It takes effort but it’s always worth it. An older woman will have the patience and maturity to sit down, listen, and communicate.
Honesty matters.
If talks about the future come up and you’re not on the same page, don’t take that as your cue to go in the direction she wants. Always be honest about what you want, too. Both of you have to be comfortable with each decision you make. She will appreciate your candor and understand the pace you want. This is also where learning to compromise comes in. Wanting to make each other happy doesn’t mean forgetting about your own needs and wants and simply going along with hers. She’s going to appreciate you more for your honesty, trust me.
She does not use age as a determining factor in compatibility.
Since you’re already exploring outside of your comfort zone, consider that dating an older woman might make you ten times happier than dating someone who’s your own age. Openness, maturity, and acceptance are the true defining factors of a good relationship, not age. So don’t stress when someone tries to make you feel funny or weird about being with someone significantly older. Don’t feel like you have to change your ways because you think it will please her more. Be yourself and let her get to know the real you. It’s a whole new world that’s just wonderful to experience, really!
She knows it should only be about you two – you should, too.
People may scoff, laugh, or question your choices but in the end, it’s about how you and the woman you’re dating are working together to build something amazing. See, some relationships fail because of other people interfering. When the couple starts taking into consideration others’ opinion over their own judgment and decision, that’s when things start going haywire. Older women just don’t have the patience for this. They steer clear of anything that wastes their time and gets in the way of their happiness. That’s why you should always keep in mind that at the end of the day, you dating an older woman is really none of anyone’s business.
The future is important.
An older woman may have a clearer idea of where she wants to be in a few years. Don’t let this scare you away. It just means she knows what she wants and that’s pretty telling of her character. What a refreshing change from the indecisive ones you’ve dated, huh? For example, some women are set on getting married and starting a family by a certain age while some are perfectly happy with just keeping things chill and dating. Regardless, this is something that should be talked about. This takes away the pressure and allows you to fully enjoy the dating experience. Who knows what the future has in store for both of you?
Most importantly, know that there will never be a perfect relationship. You can have amazing chemistry and still be faced with the toughest, ugliest situations. That’s why you need to be fully prepared to commit, communicate, and compromise. It’s been said time and again that relationships take a lot of work but the really good ones shouldn’t feel like work.
Be open and honest, pick your battles, and make a consistent effort to understand and be there for each other. You’ll love the growth.
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